i'd been wondering about my sexuality and it seemed a good time to tackle the big ol' heterosexual question

i am completely oblivious to the fact that my brother and friend are in love and probably have been doin' it in the next room over

i need to say it aloud so i can be sure it really happened because i don't really remember it

excuse ME you've been gone HOW LONG and this is what you've BEEN DOING?! YOU. HAD. SEX. WITH. SOMEONE. THAT. WAS. NOT. ME?!?!?! EXPLAIN YOURSELF RIGHT NOW YOU CASHOLE

yessss did you think I didn't know how to do it

fine bitch. well, I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE HAPPY TO HAVE KILLED ANYONE IN MY LIFE. cuz you know who didn't have protection? APRIL.

wait did i do something wrong

guess who's sleeping on the couch tonight? dis bitch.